I had a lovely surprise this morning! I got featured on instagram on a very well known poetry page. I like their page and poets they hand pick, check it out: @doortooursouls.
I feel so honoured, humbled and grateful. This is more meaningful than usual, specially at this moment in time.
Currently, I am experiencing a deep separation from the physical world. I have been isolating myself and shunning the world, not the other way around.
I got into an accident and it did not matter. My right body is bruised, swollen and I feel weak. I gave myself a day off cycling but I have not stopped. My body seems to be asking for attention and I am not giving.
That concerns me more than the accident itself. My lack of concern. Yet, the correlation between all that and this feature? Beyond this present time, which I experience, that asks for internal focus, in some extreme way – delete, erase, reject most things…this virtual poetry community is the only group tie that I have right now. Yes, one may feel sad upon reading this. But if it was not for that, I would have totally voided myself.
I am voiding. I have been avoiding my phone, media, internet. I do not watch TV, netflix or You Tube (well, sometimes). I currently focus my activities on: drawing, writing, music making, cycling, walking, listening to music or podcasts (Ram Dass and The One You Feed) and reading some books and or articles (this is when I access Google).
It is a very strange moment for me. I am so disconnected from my body, from this material world and from these material beings, that on the day of the accident, I just stod up and left. I did not lick my own wounds. I did not even look at the damage my body suffered. On the next day, I could notice the swollen bruises. Still, I don’t care. That is what seems unusual, my reaction to it.
Now, as the days push away from memory occurrence, driving theirselves apart and aside from that fact…my body aches more. My bruises develop. You would think it would function in reverse: first, you have blood – bruise – then healing. It seems I felt healing – bruise – now I sense the blood running out of me. In fact, I woke up today, feeling fully drained. I feel a vampire has been at me all night long, dripping me out of any life, desire, motivation, passion. And this is life. As much as you may try and rid yourself from all the world (surely you cannot and I do not – I am currently picking and choosing what world I am to experience), it is that inner kryptonite that will suck you out. I need to master my own tool = my brain’s ability to focus. And I will start with two words: delete and shun.
This is my reply: